Bittaufiq wan najah :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Revision week has started. Yet, I have another math quiz tomorrow. Bismillahi tawakaltu 'alallah.

Good luck to all my friends! Semoga membawa kejayaan untuk diri, keluarga, masyarakat dan Islam. Barakallahu lakum.

To my classmates, don't ever give up ya? An advice for me too.

Lastly, bittaufiq wan najah fid dunya wal akhirah!  

Kita berkawan sampai ke syurga tau!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Aku mulakan kembali nukilan dengan menyebut asma' Allah. Segala puja dan puji hanya layak bagiNya. Mengharap redhanya di setiap hembusan nafasku. Selawat dan salam buat junjungan mulia Rasulullah SAW. 

Final makin menghampiri. Saat-saat beginilah kita akan selalu diuji. Sama ada semakin mendekat denganNya atau semakin menjauh. Sungguh, bagiku, aku sangat lemah tanpa Allah. Tambah-tambah bila melihat carry marks yang tak berapa membantu. Jika tidak pada Allah, kepada siapa lagi tempat aku bergantung?

Saat begini juga aku selalunya menjauhkan diri dari semua orang. Bukan apa, bimbang kalau-kalau tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati orang. Aku tahu, aku bukan jenis yang pandai mengambil hati orang. 

Selalunya aku akan rapat dengan Nura sahaja dalam keadaan begini. Memang majoring kami berbeza, dia mechatronics aku biotech. Tak boleh pun nak study bersama. Cuma aku boleh berkongsi rasa dengan dia. Iya, aku jenis berahsia. Kalau tidak dipendam pun, hanya orang tertentu sahaja aku berkongsi.

Siapa yang tak rapat dengan aku selalunya akan mentafsir aku berbeza. Katanya pasti aku sombong, tidak peduli orang. Jika itu yang orang lihat padaku, dan jika itu yang hakikat, insyaAllah aku akan cuba untuk perbaiki diri. Memang payah, tapi aku bukan berubah kerana manusia, aku cuma mencuba untuk menjaga hubunganku sesama manusia. Itukan dituntut Islam?

Sebenarnya sedang berusaha untuk menghadam Math 4 sekarang. Dari tadi tak masuk-masuk. Allah, permudahkan..

Menulis blog sekadar meluangkan waktu. Mungkin catatan ini akan menjadi kenangan suatu hari nanti. Untuk anak cucu mungkin.

Dan iya, satu yang aku ingin katakan, mungkin aku susah untuk menuturkannya di bibir, 

"Nura, aku sayang kau kerana Allah."

Teringat Dr Manzoor Malik kata kepada kami berdua pada kelas terakhir malam itu,

"So, you both are best friends? I hope you'll die on the same day so that the other one doesn't need to cry for the other. Haha."

We both knew he was joking, yet indeed, it means a lot. It touched our heart. Sounded nothing, yet the meaning is something.

Nura, kita berkawan sampai ke syurga tau?

you & HIM

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

*Senyum :)

 

Begini ceritanya..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

 

I just knew, when there are more than one post within 24 hours, something isn't right. Yeah, I mean me myself.

 

An evening spent at Enginius office, just to settle the report. It's not that writing the report took all my evening there. The truth, I'm stuck with many sort of things. The pictures of the event, the budget spent. Calling here and there. And right after maghrib azan, I submitted the report. Alhamdulillah.

 

Being an office girl for an hour or two, not forgetting thanks to Shazmeer for allowing me to use his laptop gave me the chance to read online newspaper. Yelah, nak bukak facebook, kat laptop orang, nak tulis blog, kat laptop orang jugak, nak bukak twitter, laptop orang jugak. Agaknya surat khabar dah tak punya cerita kot. Benda yang sama setiap artikel.

I'm proud to be Malaysian, no doubt, yet, to live in Malaysia with all those stories, lies, and such made my head ached. Rimas. People might say that I do not care of what happening in Malaysia. Plus, I do not even bother when my parents talk about politics. I chose to keep silent, just observe. 

"Ad deenu siasah"

It's an hadith, though. So, politics must be in line with religion as what Rasulullah did century ago. What I see, politics in Malaysia isn't like that. Some parties regard them better than others, while others are indeed wrong.

And yeah, I just keep silent but I'm not blind. It doesn't necessarily to talk bad about someone, just to tell others that you're good. 

Another stupid things I found on the news is that, you don't have any legal reasons that allow you to spread pornographic pictures to the public. Even if that thing is true, I believe a reporter should have ethics and should not go cross the human rights. We as readers have the right not to even see those pictures.

Patutlah, status fb abangme hari tu marah sungguh. Memang melampau sangat gambarnya.

Then, about Bersih. I just read without making any comments. I know that newspaper are biased. All medias are like that. Like Ummi said once, "Tak boleh nak tahu yang mana betul yang mana salah. Tunggu kat akhirat nantilah semua akan terjawab."

Betullah tu, mereka yang berimankan hari kiamat sahajalah yang takut untuk mendustakan kebenaran. Takut melakukan maksiat. Takut mencabuli hak insan lain. Takut untuk membuat salah. Jadi, yang tak takut tu tak beriman ke? Allahu'alam. Tepuk dada, tanya iman.

 

 

Muhasabah

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Mengharap redha Allah di setiap hembusan nafas ini. Selawat dan salam buat junjungan mulia Rasulullah SAW.

Rajin pulak malam ni nak tulis blog. Assignment padahal beratur menunggu aku siapkan. Revision itu dan ini lagi. Final bukan lama lagi. Pejam celik, tarik nafas hembus nafas dah sampai final. Time tu nanti baru nak tercungap. Manusia, often waits until 11th hour..

Seronok dapat beli buku tadi. A thousand thanks to Kak Ecah sebab temankan pergi Aeon tadi. Urm, sepanjang masuk Gombak ini first time keluar untuk urusan peribadi dengan kawan. Nak cakap anak manja? Saya tak kisah.

Pergi MPH bagai menggila tengok buku. It's a heaven! Capai satu buku, 'brain rules' by John Medina. Harga dia memang sesak nafas juga, tapi sebab beli buku, tak rasa rugi apa pun.

Semalam, selesaikan report EXCITE. Alhamdulillah, settled! Banyak sangat kisah dengan EXCITE yang terpendam dalam hati. Sekarang, aku mahu lupakan semua. Mesti ada hikmah, bukan?

Seharian meluang masa bersama report, semasa berwudhu' untuk solat maghrib tersedar ada luka kecil di tangan. Teringat dulu-dulu, ustazah pernah pesan sakit itu kifarah dosa. Kalau dapat luka tu tandanya Allah nak ampunkan dosa kita.

Ingatan itu terus menghantar mesej ke otak melalui saraf-saraf. Apalah dosa yang aku baru buat tadi ya? Harapnya luka itu jadi kifarah, dan dosaku diampun. Amin.

Muhasabah, mujahidah. Entah dosa apa yang dilakukan dalam sedar atau tidak. Kena selalu koreksi diri. Semoga hari mendatang, kita menjadi lebih baik. InsyaAllah.

How would you like it to be different?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

May Allah bless us in each breath. Peace be upon Rasulullah SAW.

Last parenting class, Dr Manzoor Malik asked us a question on "How your parents brought you up and how would you like it to be different for your future children?"

I'm not going to talk about my answer. But this is what attracted my attention that night.

"The way my parents brought me up was quite satisfying, but I will stress more on religious knowledge for my children if I got the chance to have one. I don't blame my parents for that since I know they were also growing up with the same situation. When my children are able to read, to speak, I will give them religious education straight away."

Despite, we did not look at him as someone who are lack with religious knowledge, but someone who are trying so hard improving himself and going to do the same for his future family.

"As for example, I only knew about Jumaah prayer when I was 13."

Listen to that statement, made me realized how best Allah's planning is. Even though that brother comes from the average family, he befriends with some other brothers who I considered have a good Islamic background. Allah gave him chance to study in IIUM, where he can improve his religious knowledge with the Islamic surrounding implemented in every aspect. 

"Dia pernah sekelas tilawah dengan aku waktu kat CFS dulu and dia kurang lancar baca Quran. Tapi, boleh nampaklah effort dia nak belajar Quran tu." My friend whispered to me while that brother still doing his talking.

"Lagi baguslah macam tu kan? Pahala dia lagi banyak."

Subhanallah. 

I gave full attention on every word that brother said. He shouldn't be ashamed with himself. In fact, he should be grateful that Allah chose him to get His hidayah over everyone else.


Perasaan waktu tu, sangat seronok sebab seorang lagi pemuda Islam dilahirkan. Betapa hidayah itu milik Allah. Hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu kenapa Dia memilih orang itu dan itu. Dan juga kenapa jadi begitu dan begitu. Ilmu Allah di luar jangkauan kita.


He want to do something better for his family later, brings them to Jannah. InsyaAllah, there are many brothers out there who also have the characteristic of great husband-to-be. May Allah rewards them so. Amin.


Allahu'alam bissawab.

Senyum Purnama

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Aku termenung dalam gelapnya malam

aku lihat purnama tersenyum padaku

fikiranku berkalih

Adakah Tuhan juga begitu?

Padahal aku sering alpa mengingatiNya..

27 April 2012

[2224]

dakwah?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

 

Judgemental.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Stuck doing the report. Surfing the Facebook for a while, nothing interesting in it. So, I decided to write a blog.

Naah, I'm not going to talk about Bersih. I agreed with some part of the idea of Bersih, while some others, I disagreed. 

Demonstrasi secara aman, apa salahnya? Kenapa perlu dihalang, bukan? Lagi pun, katanya ini negara demokrasi. Bila lagi suara rakyat akan didengari. Tapi bila jadi kejadian huru-hara, tak perlu pun tunding jari pada sesiapa. Salah masing-masing. Cukup, cerita pendapat aku.

Beberapa malam lepas, seperti biasa ada mass gath Gemilang. Usai mass gath, ada meeting pertama kalinya biro yang aku pegang. Baru pilih subcommittees. Tapi aku tak turut serta ketika sesi pemilihan, jadi malam itu baru aku tahu siapa yang terpilih.

Seorang demi seorang nama dipanggil. Ada beberapa nama yang aku kenal, yang lain kurang pasti. Ketika berkumpul di satu tempat sementara semua subcom datang, aku tanya kepada Abang Akir dan Kak Ecah,

"Siapa yang pilih dia ye? Bukan apa, cuma nak tahu, saja tanya, siapa yang pilih dia?"

Cuba sehabis baik menyusun soalan supaya tidak menyinggung mana-mana pihak. Namun nampaknya kedua mereka faham dengan maksud pertanyaan itu. Kak Ecah memandang mataku, Abang Akir lantas menjawab.

"Nampaknya, kita yang kena bimbing dia kot. InsyaAllah."

Iya, terdiam dan aku tersedar sendiri. Tak sepatutnya aku jadi judgemental sebegitu. Everyone deserves chance to change or at least I have no right to describe someone based on my opinion.

Biro Dakwah dan Kebajikan, bukankah tugasnya amar makruf dan nahi munkar? Mungkin aku terlalu memilih. Atau aku menyangka tugas dakwah ini hanya layak dilakukan oleh yang pakai tudung labuh, berkopiah segala sahaja.

Istigfar, banyak sangat khilaf diri aku ni. Mari muhasabah diri.

To that person, I'm very happy you joined us. Hope you will help us improving ourselves altogether. I love you because of Allah. 

Maafkan saya. Maafkan saya yang tak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan.

A Random Observation

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

With the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful. May His blessing with us in each breath. Peace be upon Rasulullah SAW.

Nura and I were having a late dinner at HS cafe. There's nothing special to have meals there except the only cafe opens till late nights. As we're waiting for our order, we had some chit chat.


A random observation, random question:


"What do you think, if their parent knows they were like this?"


"Some parents allow them to having relationship. And might be that 'some' are theirs."


"I mean, if their parents know they are freely holding hands, staying up late boy and girl just chit chatting instead of studying at that particular time. And yeah, sharing the same fork and spoon, is that allowed in Islam?"


"Hmm, I don't know.."


I continued making random observation. Watching their actions makes me ponder, if now they had already done such thing which I considered to be special for my future husband, what is left special for their future spouse? 


Holding hands with a man, he shall be my husband after my dad's and my brothers'. 


Talking sweet to a guy, this is particularly to my husband. Not a single man deserved my nice treat except he got the title of 'my husband'.


If that how people define love, I would surely get away from it. But for me, love is something sacred. Allah grant us with love, for us to manage it with iman not with nafs.


Islam never denies our fitrah. Love can be channeled in halal way, which is through nikah. If people ask me, would I like to married early. Then, my answer is yes. Yet, that is the last thing that I will think of after so many things I need to consider first. My studies, my religious knowledge, life 101 and most important is my iman. Am I capable to increase my iman through nikah or it will just decreasing my iman. Na'uzubillahiminzalik.


Even if my parents told me that they have found a boy that suits me, his fikrah is okay and I found nothing wrong with him, I still need to consider from my side. Am I able to be a good wife for him? How can I complete his other half iman, whilst I'm still struggling hard improving mine?


Marriage is not solely about satisfying our sexual needs, it's more than what can we think of.


And insyaAllah, as long as I can guard my heart from falling for someone unknowingly, I chose to remain single as I believed that Allah never leaves me.


As for them, if you believed he/she is your other half, please, do make the next step. It is much sweeter if you're holding hands and Allah even rewards you for that. It's only can be achieved through nikah.


There were not just one couple I randomly observed that night, many of them. I just could make du'a Allah will ease their way to be in a halal relationship. Amin.

Not forgetting, pray for my strength to remain in my mujahadah. May Allah grant me 'the one' at correct time and correct situation. Amin.


For the time being, I will strive my best to be the best for him later.